The problem with today’s youth.

If you live near Greenwich Village, a vintage clothing store, or an American Apparel you’ve probably seen what is known as a “hipster”.  If not, let me explain the concept to you. A hipster is basically an unemployed fairy boy who lost all his friends by inviting them to a circle jerk and now lives alone in some dude’s attic listening to shitty music because it’s unpopular.  Hobbies include: reading Karl Marx, asking you to buy carbon credits, buying old records, being poor, and becoming a pedophile in 15 years.  You can identify one easily on the streets by their sacrilegious style of dress:

Look at this asshole’s sunglasses. First off, it’s fucking night time so unless he’s trying to block out light from the moon, I have no idea why he’s wearing them.  Actually, they aren’t even sun glasses, they are more like sun blinds.  The fuck is he wearing blinds for? Does he think his face is a window? If it was, I’d smash it with my 5 wood.

“This is what Down syndrome looks like from the future!”

Is this bitch serious right now?  She’s wearing tights under a skirt under a dress under a belt under a jacket under an aura of severe retardation.  What the fuck is she even carrying a purse for? We all know she has no money.

“Severus Snape got a haircut!”

You know why this guy bought the tightest fitting pants he could find? It help suppress the boners he gets everytime he passes a playground.  I mean seriously, this dude’s wearing a tie with a v neck.  And that’s about the eighth thing wrong with him.  The good news is that it looks like the wall behind him will collapse on top of him any moment now.

Is there any time left to abort this monster?  Seriously, I have to call it an “it’ because I’ve never seen a more sexually ambiguous thing in my life.  Why haven’t we sent it into space yet?

Notice how he rolled up his pants. Professor Douchebag is always prepared for a flood.

I hate to make fun of someone with Down syndrome, but I can’t help myself here.  Does she have elephant balls or did she shit her pants? There is no other explanation.  Or does she plan to give birth while jogging? I really don’t know. I just hope that when the aliens land, they won’t see this bitch and blow our planet to hell.

This guy is a pedophile.  I have no doubts regarding this matter.  Not only is he a certain boy scout fondler, but he also has terrible posture, which troubles me greatly.  How does he plan on giving it to little boys if he can’t stand erect?

More to come.